Disastrous Enterprises


“Legal and Law-Abidin’ Enterprises Incorporated.”

Kid Curry winced. Hannibal Heyes shook his head.

“You two said me an’ Wheat ought’a think about findin’ us a legal and law-abidin’ career, somethin’ fittin’ with our…” Kyle Murtry paused, then beamed proudly, impressed with himself at remembering Heyes’ word, “unique talents, so we figured we’d try our hands at runnin’ our own business.”

“And you plan to call it Legal and Law-Abiding Enterprises Incorporated?” Heyes asked.

“Me an’ Wheat thought it was a right smart name, Heyes.” Kyle’s eyes registered a twinge of offense. “Seein’ how we wouldn’t be outlawin’ no more.”

“It’s an interestin’ name alright,” Curry interjected, hoping to avoid trouble by smoothing ruffled feathers. “Just what kinda Legal and Law-Abidin’ Enterprise you two plannin’ on startin’?”

“Horseshoein’,” answered Murtry.

“Saloonin’,” answered Wheat, at precisely the same moment.

Heyes casually raised a hand to his lips, covering a grin. “Beg pardon?”

“Saloonin’ AND horseshoein’,” Wheat amended. “See, we was thinkin’,” he began, “What does a fella do whilst waitin’ for the smithy to shoe his horse?” He waited. With no response, Wheat supplied the answer himself. “He saunters on over to the saloon for a relaxin’ drink!”

Kyle smiled triumphantly at his new business partner’s brilliance.

“You’re startin’ two businesses?” the Kid asked, confused.

“Pffft…No!” Wheat impatiently laid out his plan (okay, his and Kyle’s plan) step by step. “It’ll be two buildin’s side by side, one for horseshoein’ and one for saloonin, but only ONE business.” Wheat held up one finger, then pointed it toward Murtry. “Kyle’s gonna be runnin’ the shoein’ end o’ things, while I,” he turned the finger toward himself, “am gonna be runnin’ the saloon.” He puffed his chest proudly.

Heyes and Curry exchanged a glance, then Heyes spoke. “Legal and Law-Abiding Enterprises Incorporated?” he asked a second time.

“Well, Heyes, you said that…” Kyle began.

“What would you call it then, Mr. High and Mighty?” Wheat growled.

“I’d call it dang stu…”

Thankfully, Heyes was interrupted by Kyle. “Oh, I got a real good idee!” He shuffled his feet excitedly. “What’d’ya think of…” He paused for effect. “Shoes and Brews!”

Three outlaw faces stared, dumbfounded.

“Shots and Shods?” Kyle tried again.

Wheat, looking sheepish, cleared his throat . “It ain’t like that’s the only business idea we come up with.”

Heyes sighed. “We can’t wait to hear, can we, Kid?”

Curry fixed his partner with a glare. “Do tell.”

“We was thinkin’, if the horseshoein’ and saloonin’ don’t pan out, maybe we’d start us a shippin’ business,” Wheat ventured.

“Now that does sound promising,” Heyes agreed, nodding.

“Not with one of our horses,” Curry warned.

“The horses we got here at the Hole ain’t good for pullin’ freight anyway,” Wheat assured him. “We’d have to get us a mule.”

Kyle thought quickly. “We’d call us Two Men and a Mule!”

Curry and Heyes eyed each other.

Wheat caught their look and herded Kyle toward the bunkhouse. “C’mon. We got us more details to work out.”

“How about, Haulin’ A…” Kyle’s voice faded into the distance.

“Heyes,” Curry muttered, “one thing’s for sure and certain.”

Heyes raised a brow. “What’s that?”

“No matter what enterprise the two of them take on, the results are gonna be…”

Heyes and Curry finished in unison. “Disastrous!”

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

August 2014

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